Rick Cahall: Outlandos d’Amour

Outlandos d’Amour

By “Big Rick” Cahall

Ah , St Valentines Day . Hello old friend . How many holidays of yours have I endured and sometimes enjoyed greatly. Some VERY Greatly !! That waitress in Newport Beach … But I digress.

For you historians out there , early Christian martyrs were named Valentine. To an Agnostic this means SQUAT. Again I digress …

This holiday means as much to us men as to the ladies . But Rick how can you say this ??? Easy , I say a lot of stupid things but this isn’t one of them. Listen and learn kiddies.

Anything that is INCREDIBLY important to our women , BETTER be the same to us guys or we will be spending time with our PS3 or playing with our WII ! ( not that you silly people !! ) So this month I want to let you in on some of the best Films & Songs for this day of Amore. Some of these are my favorites and some ARE just a consensus. They are not ranked nor in any order .

FILMS: Forgetting Sarah Marshall , Titantic , P.S. I Love You , He’s Just Not That Into You , As Good As It Gets , Chasing Amy , Tin Cup , Love Actually , What Women Want , Ghost , Notting Hill , 50 First Dates , Groundhog Day , When Harry Met Sally , Juno , Knocked Up.

Maybe not your conventional TITLES mind you but a list none the less.

If you haven’t seen any of these , do check them out . Great or cute , touching love stories in each one.

Some that didn’t make the cut : Fatal Attraction , My Bloody Valentine , Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer , Seven , Basic Instinct , Indecent Proposal , Natural Born Killers … Not all can make list…

SONGS:

Possession-Sarah McLachlin , Against All Odds-Phil Collins , Torn-Natalie Imbruglia , My Heart Will Go On-Celine Dion , Everything I Do-Bryan Adams , Purple Rain-Prince , Take My Breath Away-Berlin , Faithfully-Journey , Wicked Game-Chris Issac , Wonderful Tonight-Eric Clapton , And I Love Her - Beatles , First Time Ever I saw Your Face-Roberta Flack , A Woman’s Worth-Alicia Keys , Maybe I’m Amazed-Paul McCartney , Aint No Sunshine-Bill Withers , Nuthin Compares 2 U-Prince/Sinead O’Connor , I’ll Stand by You-Chrissy Hynde.

Once again a list , but not THE LIST. If you havent heard any of these , give them a try and you will appreciate them. Or not.

Some that didn’t make the cut : I Too Sexy - Right Said Fred , Darling Nikki-Prince , Before He Cheats-Carrie Underwood , She Hates Me-Puddle Of Mudd , Can I Get A - Jay Z , Lady Is A Tramp-Frank Sinatra , Justify My Love-Madonna , You Oughta Know-Alanis Morrisette , If I Didn’t Love-Squeeze , Blame It-Jamie Foxx , Love The One You’re With-Stephen Stills … Cant please everyone.

Its time for a new feature .

Big Rick’s Picks

New Band: Them Crooked Vultures. Sort of a SuperGroup if you will. Josh Hommes ( Queens of the Stone Age ) , Dave Grohl ( Foo Fighters , Nirvana ) & John Paul Jones ( Oh just a little band known as Led Zeppelin ). First single “ New Fang “ is screaming on your Modern / AOR Rock stations.

New Film : Sherlock Holmes , well worth the admission price in these economic times. Robert Downey Jr : a modern day master thespian. ( Thespian people , geez … ).

New DVD Rental: Inglourious Basterds by Quentin Tarrantino . Please , its Tarrantino .

New Tour: Soundgarden Reunites . Awesome grunge GODS …

New Series: Fringe ( FOX ) & Bored to Death ( HBO )

New Car: Dodge Challenger , HOLY …. !

New Comedy Star : Zach Galifianakis ( The Hangover )

Best Local Bar: The Rail ( Richland NJ ) and also The Watering Hole ( Mays Landing )

Best Local Blog: TheAngryReporter.Blogspot.com  (LousGazetteBlog.blogspot.com, of course)

Best New Independent Film: Sorrow Hill ( GrindHouse Pictures ) Makes you forget Paranormal Activity …

Biggest Jerk: Pat Robertson , Rush Limbaugh & his little sister Glenn Beck

Greatest Writer : Sarah Palin , best since Christopher Marlowe … ugh …She sounds even dumber in print …Its not a woman thing at all; she’s just an idiot.

Well , I’ll see you next month . Thanks for spending time with me.

Any thoughts , questions etc… ?

BigRickComedy@yahoo.com

P.S. I promised Lou I wouldn’t mention Brokeback Mountain and I won’t …

　

Gail Benson: Buena Historical Society: Early School of Buena Vista Twshp

BUENA HISTORICAL SOCIETY…….

EARLY SCHOOLS OF BUENA VISTA TOWNSHIP

by Gail Benson

Several schools, referred to as School Districts, are listed in the first minute book of the Buena Vista Township Clerk.  Buena Vista was formed from Hamilton Township in 1867, and schools are mentioned as early as 1869.  That does not mean they did not exist before that time, but they were not mentioned in the Clerk’s minutes book.

In 1869, the School Districts listed were Amity, Downs, New Germany, Oak Road, Buena Vista, Vine Road, Newton Ville.  In an 1871 reference, Vine Road is no longer listed and Newtonville has become one word, but the others listed remain the same. 

An 1872 map that appears on the website of Rutgers University at http://mapmaker.rutgers.edu/Atlantic/OldAtlanticCounty.html  shows only three school buildings.  One is shown on the west side of what is now Route 54, north of Route 40.  That would be the current Library V restaurant, and I assume that is the one they would call Buena Vista.  Another is on the southeast corner of what appears to be Lincoln Avenue and Vine Road.  One would think that is the school called Vine Road.  But there is also a school called Oak Road; legend says that school was at the corner of Lincoln and Oak.  It would appear unlikely that you would have two schools that close together.  The third school shown is on the northwest corner of Union and Post; although Post is called Park on that 1872 map. Even though a school is not shown on the map, we all know where Newtonville is.  New Germany is the old name for Folsom, which was part of Buena Vista Township until 1906.  We still have an area called Downstown. 

Since the book referred to “School Districts,” perhaps areas had the responsibility of providing for the education of their children.  That could have meant sending them to another district’s school.  Today, we have what are called non-operating school districts. They collect state aid and local taxes and pay tuition to have the local students attend the schools of another district.  They do not operate any school buildings of their own.  The State of New Jersey is currently in the process of trying to eliminate these districts with no schools.  In Atlantic County, we had Corbin City and Longport that fell into that category.  In Gloucester County, Newfield is also classified as a “non-op” since the Buena Regional Board of Education operates Newfield’s one school building.

So, we have accounted for all of the names with the exception of Amity.  The school that appears at Union and Post would not fit any of the names; so perhaps that was Amity. 

If you have any information or old stories about our schools, you can email BuenaHistorical@gmail.com or contact us by regular mail at P. O. Box 114, Buena, NJ 08310

Buena Historical Society meets on the third Wednesday at 7:30 p.m. at the Buena Vista Township Municipal Building, Route 40, Buena.  Our next meeting is February 17, 2010. Please join us.  

Lynn Petrovich: NJ Citizens Donate Voting Equipment to Smithsonian Declare State a Monarchy

NJ Citizens Donate Voting Equipment to Smithsonian

Declare State a Monarchy

By Lynn Petrovich

Late Thursday night NJ residents, in a 7,561,234 to one vote, decided to surrender to its long-time captor, the political party boss.  The news came on the heels of a mass reading of the book, The Soprano State (which has already been blamed for the run on Paxil). 

This New York Times bestseller, by investigative reporters Bob Ingle and Sandy McClure, details the corruption that has permeated NJ politics for over 3 decades, plundering its citizens into a lifetime of debt, inequality, and involuntary servitude.

Marian Bloomers, Citizen Spokesperson said “The outrageous orgy both Republicans and Democrats have enjoyed – thanks to the party boss – has left NJ a hump dump of smoldering instability.

Reached for comment, Governor Chris Christie was heard to say “You mean I’m out? Whew!  I mean turning NJ around is like trying to tap dance with a Woolly Mammoth at a tea party.”

Long-time NJ resident Joseph Schmalgowitz said “It’s just easier if we give up now.  Why fight any longer? It’s clear we haven’t had any say in what goes on in NJ for over 30 years. What got me (from The Soprano State) was when I read John Bennett III (Republican Senator, Monmouth County) who gained fame for raking in salaries from eight separate government entities (over $200,000/year plus pension $100,000/year) in addition to billing over $5 million for work his law firm performed at the same time and in the same towns that he was municipal attorney (one being Marlboro).  As Senate co-president, Bennett issued a senate birthday proclamation to a developer in Marlboro who was described (p. 166) as part ‘of the scum at the bottom of most NJ political barrels’ and who was indicted for paying bribes in excess of $140,000!” 

An exhausted Pamela Klinesmithberg of Little Egg Harbor summed it up best “I’ve worked three jobs for the past 6 years so this comes as such a relief. No longer will I have to lie to my eight year old telling him hard work and honesty is the key to success.  I mean when I read (on page 141):

‘The NJ legal system is headed, of course, by the NJ Supreme Court, mostly composed of lawyers with political connections but little prior judicial experience [and] the court effectively makes it own laws and orders them carried out, thus acting as all three arms of government.  Seemingly few justices have read the state constitution and if they did, they didn’t understand it.  The result is seven unelected, largely unknown political appointees controlling housing and education and all manner of other elements of daily life [and] who have managed to restore ‘taxation without representation’

I said, let’s just hurry up and surrender”.

Word of the news spread quickly.  NJ State Senators beamed with excitement at the thought of not having to “misappropriate the truth about the misallocation of money”.  One Senator from the Jersey Shore remarked:  “Now when I go to Sunday services with my wife and kids, I can relax that I won’t (literally) be damned to hell.”

Political, excuse me, royal patronage flourished for no-bid contracts including velvet robes, diamond-studded scepters, moat construction, and, of course, signs.  We need new signs!  Those entering the state, renamed - We Under Royalty Serve Thee – will be greeted: “Welcome to the WURST state.” 

Camden, a favorite cash cow that’s been milked onto life support, is known as one of the top crime-laden cities in the nation.  It’s going from worst to WURST.

At the soon-to-be scheduled burning of the state constitution (which no one has paid attention to anyway), proclamations being considered include:

(1)  Putting Loyalists at Local Authorities on triple pay in order to submit layout and design plans for redecoration of their “palaces”.

(2)  Summoning all fair maidens for harem consideration (Note: girls from the reality show Jersey Shore need not apply).

(3)  Renaming of roadways:

(a)  Garden State will become Patronage Parkway;

(b)  NJ Turnpike will become WURST Roadway;

(c)  Atlantic City Expressway will become Loser Lane;

(d)  Any roads with the following numbers will become revenue producers:  1, 9, 15, 18, 21, 27, 30, 34, 35, 36, 38, 45, 50, 52, 55, 58, 72, 78, 80, 81, 90, 95, 195, 295, 520, 537, 547 and 601.

(e)  All roads will lead to nowhere (no change here).

Reached for comment, President Obama remarked “I will work hard to gain the support of the WURST people.”

There’s little clarity on how the monarchy – in the long term - will pay for its planned extravagances, and like most governments that are controlled by a few, that myopic vision will probably lead to its downfall.  Under both Republican and Democrat – that is essentially one party – one boss – the WURST state will undoubtedly crash into bankruptcy, especially as its “servants” exit and the “source” income diminishes down to those who are receiving it. 

And when that happens, all the king’s horses and all the king’s men won’t be able to put the hump-dump back together again.

Lynn Petrovich, Copyright 2010

Inhuman Relations: February 2010

Inhuman Relations by Dennis Hyer